As of the writing of this post, it is Friday night. The weekend has started. I should be in a good mood, but based on the series of irritating moments that made up this day, my rage seems to be lingering.

Aside from obvious anger-inducing events like waking up and going to work, a few more things made today generally frustrating. I will list a few (but I will also try to find at least some bright side to each. I really am trying to be more positive when things get me down. We’ll see how successful I am…)

1. Riley pooed twice on his walk this morning. I only had one plastic bag. I had to find a stick and make a “shit kabob” out of the second deposit, and then walk very slowly and carefully for several blocks to make sure the kabob stayed in tact until I found a trash can.

   The positive: at least the second time was in a well-lit area so I could easily collect it all. Riley doesn’t crap in a pile. He spins around in circles leaving behind anywhere from 8-14 randomly scattered, shockingly small pellets. Usually, he does this in the shadows of a giant oak tree making it virtually impossible for me to find it all. I cannot tell you how many times I have returned home and found that the plastic bag is filled not with poo, but with acorns and clumps of dirt.

2. A one-hour meeting with the fake managers in my department (of which I am one), where any attempt to constructively talk about our actual work derailed quickly into talks of being over-worked and under-paid. This is not a rare occurrence, but for some reason it was more depressing today. I know we are supposed to be thankful that we have jobs at all. And I am. But part of me wishes that a company that is very profitable wanted to reward their employees, at least in some small way. It’s the same why I wish people with lots of money wanted to give more to pay for needed services. I don’t expect these things to actually happen, but sometimes thinking about it gets me down.

   The positive: the meeting meant I was away from my desk/computer for a full hour. And we were in the nice conference room with the squishy leather couches and the fireplace. And I drank a LOT of coffee.

3. Immediately after coming out of the meeting that left me feeling undervalued and unappreciated, I got a message on my cell phone saying I didn’t get the job that I had been interviewing for.

   The positive: On the message, the CEO said the choice came down to a couple people, and to make the decision he basically “threw a dart”. While darts is a fun game to play while drunk in a bar, I’m not sure it is a sign of confident leadership. In the end, I may have dodged a bullet by not getting this job.

4. I was forced to violate one of my most important project management rules- never launch a website on a Friday. This is the worst possible time to launch a site. The day is already the most hectic one of the week, people are tired and if something goes wrong that means you are working over the weekend to fix it. Today, we launched not one, but FIVE sites. It was crazy and bad and everything that could go wrong did. And I will be working to sort out some of the issues Saturday and Sunday.

   The positive: At the height of the chaos, I did an amazing imitation of New Biz Guy’s fake, schmoozy laugh. (yep, I’m really reaching on that one).

5. I signed up for my half marathon today. I signed Kabluey up too, because evidently I hate her. June 12th is the big day. Now I have to start running.

   The positive: I signed up for my half marathon today.

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Tags: job search, project management, Riley

The job interview went well today. Really well, actually. I am concerned because there is now evidence (indicated by the occurrence of a sickly feeling in my belly whenever I think about being offered the position) to support that I might actually like and want this job. This is uncharted territory for me and I’m not sure how I should feel. I’d hate to get my hopes up, especially considering that the job, if offered to me, seems headed for a tough salary discussion.

If I use my typical negotiation strategy, I will painstakingly calculate the absolute minimum amount of money I need to make in order to live. I will leave no room for inevitable home repairs, emergencies or savings accounts. I will convince myself that eating 3 meals a day is for gluttonous sacks. Then, I will take that amount, subtract $5K, and feel guilty that I asked for so much.

They will of course hire me at that annual salary, as it will be well below market value. I will be livid that they undervalued me, even though they merely agreed to the number I set in front of them, and for the entire length of my employment I will tell myself that I will not put myself in this situation again.

Only, I will.

On an unrelated note: what the hell happened to the Chargers yesterday?? I feel like their depressing loss was somehow caused by the fearful energy emanating from the patrons of the sports bar where I watched the game, all of whom were dreading the possibility that San Diego would win and I’d be compelled to belt out the Super Chargers song at the top of my lungs (which, obviously, I totally would have).

Tags: Chargers, job search, salary negotiation strategy

That phone interview I had on Saturday? They emailed me and asked me to come to their office and meet them in person. I’m happy about this, though it does call into question my ability to assess a situation, or more specifically, assess people’s reaction to me. More times than not this is probably a good thing (self-awareness can be so painful), and yet it seems like a skill that could at times come in handy.

I’ll have to spend some time over the weekend getting ready for the interview. Efforts to gather my thoughts so that I may speak coherently shall be avoided at all costs. I tried to do that before the phone interview, and while it turns out they must have seen some potential, the conversation felt icky and uncomfortable and jumbled and bad. Why put myself through that again? Screw preparedness. I’m not applying to be a boy scout.

What I can do, is make some cosmetic improvements. I need a haircut for sure. Though, a series of bad haircuts have left me with little room for trimming, so it’s hard to say how much progress I can make there. I know my wardrobe could use some upgrades. An initial scan of my closet left me wondering what I have against clean, unscuffed shoes. Also, how do my baggy, ill-fitting pants stay up when I have not a single belt? And I should put an ad on craigslist to see if anyone has seen my iron- I think it went missing in 2006.

If they thought I was impressive over the phone, wait ’til they see me in person.

Tags: job search