It’s been about a month since I’ve written on this blog. Looking back at the title of the last post- “System Overload”- I can say that the same feeling of being overwhelmed continues to dominate my little world.

There are ways in which I have settled down at my job. Parts of what I do feel comfortable. Other parts feel way over my head, but the sickly feeling that accompanies having no idea what I am doing is consistent enough that now it just feels like part of my daily routine- walk dog, drink coffee, break out in cold sweat while reviewing to-do list at work, go to gym, and so on. Almost everyday I find out that something new has been added to my plate. Or maybe these things were always on my plate, but just safely hiding under the “and other duties as assigned” clause of my job description.

There are definitely some awesome things about the new job. For example, I seem to come home with a new work-related t-shirt almost every week. Since t-shirts are my favorite thing in the world, this makes me very happy. Kabluey, however, is not as impressed with the amount of swag that has entered the house during my first month of employment. Surely she will change her mind when the compliments start rolling in on the company-issued metal lunch box that I generously gave to her, and pack her sandwich in every day.

Enough about my job. It’s the Saturday of a 3-day weekend, so who wants to think about work?

As of today, it is 2 weeks until my half marathon. The farthest distance I have run is 8 miles. That was 3 weeks ago. I’m not great with numbers, but I am pretty sure that means I am screwed. I know it sounds like I have totally messed this up, but only part of it is my fault. And the part at fault is my hamstrings. Ever since my 8 mile run, I’ve had problems with my hamstrings that have manifested themselves through pain in my lower back. This is probably due to one of two things. It could be the horrific running form that I have mentioned before. Or it could be because I am getting old. Both reasons make me mad so who really cares which one it is. Kabluey has been giving me stretching exercises and if I can get up to 10 miles before the race, I may try to pull out the whole distance. I’ll have to make sure I bring work home with me that weekend, as it’s unlikely I’ll be able to walk for a while after the race.

One form of exercise that does not give me pain is bike riding. This is great because once I get past this ill-fated half marathon thing, I think it will be fun to ride my bike a bit more. Or at least ride it in the great outdoors, as opposed to on a stand in my basement, which is where I usually ride. I had already been thinking it would be a good idea to get my bike out of the house, but my recent bit of good luck solidified this idea. Kabluey and I were at Hopworks (our home away from home) attending one of their Mug Club parties. Neither one of us even knew there was a raffle, until they started pulling names for prizes like t-shirts and 22oz bottled beer. Imagine how excited we were when I won the grand prize, which was a $500 gift certificate to Bike n Hike!

I think it would be cool to get a city/commuter bike, and start riding to my office in Clackamas. I’ve only spent a little time looking at their bikes online, but so far these two are looking pretty sweet:

All this typing about Hopworks has got me craving a Rise Up Red. Off I go…

Tags: bike buying, half marathon training, Hopworks

I made it through two weeks at my new job and it’s safe to say my brain is officially fried. The good news is that I think I am really going to like this job. The potentially bad news is that everyone there is so excited about the company, and there is so much to do, that I could easily be putting in 12 hour days, 7 days a week if I don’t make a concentrated effort to maintain some kind of work-life balance.

Here’s a quick recap of some of the work-related things that have happened in my first two weeks:

1. My first day I worked 10.5 hours with no break
2. My second day I worked 10.5 hours, but managed to sneak away for twenty minutes so I could drive to a Lowe’s Hardware store, sit in my car in the parking lot and eat my sandwich
3. My third day I has to stand up and give a 30 minute presentation on social media to 15 members of the sales and marketing team
4. The company is buying me a new phone, which is awesome for me, and also awesome for the company since it will make it very easy for me to put in the 84-hour work weeks mentioned above
5. I got a full behind-the-scenes tour of the Oregon Humane Society (and I only started to cry twice!)
6. I got to buy an awesome video camera for the company, and have already made a video of Riley which I will post here soon (I also used it today, Saturday, for a work-related event…)

All in all, it was a pretty successful couple of weeks. I just need to get past the extreme stress and fatigue that seem to accompany the start of all new jobs. I need my energy so I can get outside and increase my distance running. The half marathon is fast approaching, and at the rate I am going now, I am going to be one sad camper during miles 7-13.

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Kabluey and I get job offers at the same time. It’s how we demonstrate that our lives are somehow fused together. Gays must do this, you see. Some couples start dressing alike, or get similar haircuts, or develop the same speech patterns, or maybe, in instances of extremely poor judgment, get matching piercings. Kabluey and I land new jobs at the same time. That’s our “thing”.

Based on this trend, when Kabluey accepted her job offer last week, I knew I had to step up and get a new job too. So I did. And not just any job. I am pretty sure I found a really awesome one. This feeling of excitement toward work is a strange and unfamiliar thing.

The only potential issue that I see with my new job is that I think I’ll be in way over my head, making it a very real possibility that I am about to travel down a path destined for shame, embarrassment, self-doubt and eventually the Multnomah County unemployment office.

But if that doesn’t happen, it could be really, really cool.

As of the writing of this post, it is Friday night. The weekend has started. I should be in a good mood, but based on the series of irritating moments that made up this day, my rage seems to be lingering.

Aside from obvious anger-inducing events like waking up and going to work, a few more things made today generally frustrating. I will list a few (but I will also try to find at least some bright side to each. I really am trying to be more positive when things get me down. We’ll see how successful I am…)

1. Riley pooed twice on his walk this morning. I only had one plastic bag. I had to find a stick and make a “shit kabob” out of the second deposit, and then walk very slowly and carefully for several blocks to make sure the kabob stayed in tact until I found a trash can.

   The positive: at least the second time was in a well-lit area so I could easily collect it all. Riley doesn’t crap in a pile. He spins around in circles leaving behind anywhere from 8-14 randomly scattered, shockingly small pellets. Usually, he does this in the shadows of a giant oak tree making it virtually impossible for me to find it all. I cannot tell you how many times I have returned home and found that the plastic bag is filled not with poo, but with acorns and clumps of dirt.

2. A one-hour meeting with the fake managers in my department (of which I am one), where any attempt to constructively talk about our actual work derailed quickly into talks of being over-worked and under-paid. This is not a rare occurrence, but for some reason it was more depressing today. I know we are supposed to be thankful that we have jobs at all. And I am. But part of me wishes that a company that is very profitable wanted to reward their employees, at least in some small way. It’s the same why I wish people with lots of money wanted to give more to pay for needed services. I don’t expect these things to actually happen, but sometimes thinking about it gets me down.

   The positive: the meeting meant I was away from my desk/computer for a full hour. And we were in the nice conference room with the squishy leather couches and the fireplace. And I drank a LOT of coffee.

3. Immediately after coming out of the meeting that left me feeling undervalued and unappreciated, I got a message on my cell phone saying I didn’t get the job that I had been interviewing for.

   The positive: On the message, the CEO said the choice came down to a couple people, and to make the decision he basically “threw a dart”. While darts is a fun game to play while drunk in a bar, I’m not sure it is a sign of confident leadership. In the end, I may have dodged a bullet by not getting this job.

4. I was forced to violate one of my most important project management rules- never launch a website on a Friday. This is the worst possible time to launch a site. The day is already the most hectic one of the week, people are tired and if something goes wrong that means you are working over the weekend to fix it. Today, we launched not one, but FIVE sites. It was crazy and bad and everything that could go wrong did. And I will be working to sort out some of the issues Saturday and Sunday.

   The positive: At the height of the chaos, I did an amazing imitation of New Biz Guy’s fake, schmoozy laugh. (yep, I’m really reaching on that one).

5. I signed up for my half marathon today. I signed Kabluey up too, because evidently I hate her. June 12th is the big day. Now I have to start running.

   The positive: I signed up for my half marathon today.

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Tags: job search, project management, Riley

The other day, I spent some time trying to explain to a new co-worker the flow of information between Account Managers, Project Managers and Web Developers as they make their way through a typical interactive project cycle. If project management has taught me one thing, it’s that the fewer words you use to convey your ideas, the better. So I came up with the following as a basic framework for communication:

Based on the above diagram this is probably obvious but, yes, I did go to art school. I even graduated.

Tags: project management

The job interview went well today. Really well, actually. I am concerned because there is now evidence (indicated by the occurrence of a sickly feeling in my belly whenever I think about being offered the position) to support that I might actually like and want this job. This is uncharted territory for me and I’m not sure how I should feel. I’d hate to get my hopes up, especially considering that the job, if offered to me, seems headed for a tough salary discussion.

If I use my typical negotiation strategy, I will painstakingly calculate the absolute minimum amount of money I need to make in order to live. I will leave no room for inevitable home repairs, emergencies or savings accounts. I will convince myself that eating 3 meals a day is for gluttonous sacks. Then, I will take that amount, subtract $5K, and feel guilty that I asked for so much.

They will of course hire me at that annual salary, as it will be well below market value. I will be livid that they undervalued me, even though they merely agreed to the number I set in front of them, and for the entire length of my employment I will tell myself that I will not put myself in this situation again.

Only, I will.

On an unrelated note: what the hell happened to the Chargers yesterday?? I feel like their depressing loss was somehow caused by the fearful energy emanating from the patrons of the sports bar where I watched the game, all of whom were dreading the possibility that San Diego would win and I’d be compelled to belt out the Super Chargers song at the top of my lungs (which, obviously, I totally would have).

Tags: Chargers, job search, salary negotiation strategy

That phone interview I had on Saturday? They emailed me and asked me to come to their office and meet them in person. I’m happy about this, though it does call into question my ability to assess a situation, or more specifically, assess people’s reaction to me. More times than not this is probably a good thing (self-awareness can be so painful), and yet it seems like a skill that could at times come in handy.

I’ll have to spend some time over the weekend getting ready for the interview. Efforts to gather my thoughts so that I may speak coherently shall be avoided at all costs. I tried to do that before the phone interview, and while it turns out they must have seen some potential, the conversation felt icky and uncomfortable and jumbled and bad. Why put myself through that again? Screw preparedness. I’m not applying to be a boy scout.

What I can do, is make some cosmetic improvements. I need a haircut for sure. Though, a series of bad haircuts have left me with little room for trimming, so it’s hard to say how much progress I can make there. I know my wardrobe could use some upgrades. An initial scan of my closet left me wondering what I have against clean, unscuffed shoes. Also, how do my baggy, ill-fitting pants stay up when I have not a single belt? And I should put an ad on craigslist to see if anyone has seen my iron- I think it went missing in 2006.

If they thought I was impressive over the phone, wait ’til they see me in person.

Tags: job search

Not a bad weekend, except for the fact that it was about 4 days shorter than I would have liked. I simply must find a way to improve the workday-to-weekend ratio. I pass a lot of people holding clipboards and begging for signatures on my daily walks through the Pearl, perhaps one of them can take up this cause and get it on the ballot.

I actually made some headway on the new job front- I scored a phone interview on Saturday for a totally new position (not at an agency, and not for a project management role). Yeah! Then, because I am awesome, I botched the interview. They asked me perfectly reasonable questions, including ones I had anticipated and prepped for, and I responded with a rambling, unrelated assortment of words. It should be noted that the primary task of the position I was interviewing for is to clearly and effectively communicate information to a wide range of people.

I think I am beginning to understand why it is that I have never landed a job that I was truly excited about. Apparently, excitement causes my synapses to fire wildly and destructively, decimating logical thoughts and replacing them with meaningless jibberish. Apathy, by contrast, renders me calm, intelligent and eloquent.

Solution: find a job that piques my interest; prior to the interview, use hypnosis or some form of mind control to convince myself that I would despise the job; after the interview, revert my brain to its initial state of excitement and enthusiasm.

Have another suggestion? I’m all ears…