As of the writing of this post, it is Friday night. The weekend has started. I should be in a good mood, but based on the series of irritating moments that made up this day, my rage seems to be lingering.

Aside from obvious anger-inducing events like waking up and going to work, a few more things made today generally frustrating. I will list a few (but I will also try to find at least some bright side to each. I really am trying to be more positive when things get me down. We’ll see how successful I am…)

1. Riley pooed twice on his walk this morning. I only had one plastic bag. I had to find a stick and make a “shit kabob” out of the second deposit, and then walk very slowly and carefully for several blocks to make sure the kabob stayed in tact until I found a trash can.

   The positive: at least the second time was in a well-lit area so I could easily collect it all. Riley doesn’t crap in a pile. He spins around in circles leaving behind anywhere from 8-14 randomly scattered, shockingly small pellets. Usually, he does this in the shadows of a giant oak tree making it virtually impossible for me to find it all. I cannot tell you how many times I have returned home and found that the plastic bag is filled not with poo, but with acorns and clumps of dirt.

2. A one-hour meeting with the fake managers in my department (of which I am one), where any attempt to constructively talk about our actual work derailed quickly into talks of being over-worked and under-paid. This is not a rare occurrence, but for some reason it was more depressing today. I know we are supposed to be thankful that we have jobs at all. And I am. But part of me wishes that a company that is very profitable wanted to reward their employees, at least in some small way. It’s the same why I wish people with lots of money wanted to give more to pay for needed services. I don’t expect these things to actually happen, but sometimes thinking about it gets me down.

   The positive: the meeting meant I was away from my desk/computer for a full hour. And we were in the nice conference room with the squishy leather couches and the fireplace. And I drank a LOT of coffee.

3. Immediately after coming out of the meeting that left me feeling undervalued and unappreciated, I got a message on my cell phone saying I didn’t get the job that I had been interviewing for.

   The positive: On the message, the CEO said the choice came down to a couple people, and to make the decision he basically “threw a dart”. While darts is a fun game to play while drunk in a bar, I’m not sure it is a sign of confident leadership. In the end, I may have dodged a bullet by not getting this job.

4. I was forced to violate one of my most important project management rules- never launch a website on a Friday. This is the worst possible time to launch a site. The day is already the most hectic one of the week, people are tired and if something goes wrong that means you are working over the weekend to fix it. Today, we launched not one, but FIVE sites. It was crazy and bad and everything that could go wrong did. And I will be working to sort out some of the issues Saturday and Sunday.

   The positive: At the height of the chaos, I did an amazing imitation of New Biz Guy’s fake, schmoozy laugh. (yep, I’m really reaching on that one).

5. I signed up for my half marathon today. I signed Kabluey up too, because evidently I hate her. June 12th is the big day. Now I have to start running.

   The positive: I signed up for my half marathon today.

• 

Tags: job search, project management, Riley

Looking back over my list of goals for the year, the item that I labeled easiest to accomplish is actually the thing I have made the least amount of progress on- running a half marathon.

Running is inherently evil. It’s hard on the body, a slow way to get around (if you are me) and super irritating to do in the rain, or cold, or wind, or scorching sun. Additionally, I run weird. If I run for more than a few minutes I get a bruise on the inside of my left ankle. I do not believe this indicates optimal form. But I am pretty good about working out, generally speaking, so training for a longer race seemed like a perfectly attainable goal. For whatever reason (chronic fatigue? pesky cold? deep-seated laziness?) I have not been good about consistently running. I have also not been good about biking or swimming, which should make my annual triathlon super fun.

But back to the running. I was having breakfast with my mom over the weekend and I casually mentioned that I was thinking of doing a half marathon. Her response, to my horror, was: “I was thinking of doing one too”. So now I HAVE to do it. My mom is 65-years-old. I cannot be outdone by her. She is strong, determined, and in good shape, but still it would be humiliating to fail at this while she succeeds.

This wouldn’t be the first time I have done something just to keep up with my mom. She is the reason I did my first sprint triathlon. She decided it would be fun and took the liberty of signing us up for a race. When I pointed out that I didn’t know how to swim, she defensively told me about all the money she and my dad wasted on swimming lessons when I was little, and how it wasn’t her fault that some kids just aren’t natural in the water. Then she told me I had 12 weeks to figure it out before race day. So I did.

And now, I must run. Not because I want to. Not even because I announced it on this silly blog and feel compelled to keep my fake internet promise. But because if there is even the tiniest chance that my mom will follow through and complete a half marathon, I want to be there by her side when she crosses the finish line. (Ok, technically, I want to be 2 steps ahead of her).

Tags: half marathon, training

Matched 1 number plus the Powerball.
Prize = $4
Will reinvest winnings for this week’s drawings.
Jackpot, here I come.

Today I called in sick to work so I could drive up to Seattle with Kabluey. I had a legitimate reason for making this decision, but that didn’t keep karma from rearing its ugly head. Not more than fifteen minutes after I sent the “K8 = sick” email to my boss, I felt the start of a sore throat.

Now, to be fair, I often feel the start of a sore throat. I tell myself that I am a strong person. I like to think that if my body were not so adept at fighting illness, I would surely be bedridden right now, all fevered and shivery, instead of just irritated by a mild sore throat. It’s possible, though, that the opposite is true- that I am not strong at all, and instead fall victim to every single germ that crosses my path, and am just lucky that the viruses I encounter are not powerful enough to fully take me down.

I can tell you, though, that I feel just bad enough to prevent me from doing anything productive with the day. I really wanted to spend time doing some writing, but that hasn’t worked out so well. It didn’t help matters that after dropping Kabluey off at her office, I drove around for 30 minutes trying to find a good place to park/pee/eat/use wi-fi. I don’t spend enough time in Seattle to really understand where I am at any given time, and I’ve lived away from San Francisco long enough to have lost all of my city driving skills. When I finally found a Starbucks (well, actually I found 700 Starbucks, but this one in particular had easy parking and lots of tables near power outlets), I sat down and tried to fire up the computer. Turns out Starbucks doesn’t have free wireless Internet. So, I paid $3.99 for 2-hour access. Thirty seconds into my online session, the connection timed out, and I couldn’t get back online (unless I wanted to pay again). I left the Starbucks in a fit of rage, complete with cussing under my breath as I gathered my stuff, returned to the car, and continued my frustrating quest to find a place to relax and write.

Now, after a brief stop at a Seattle’s Best Coffee, where they do have free wi-fi and I was able to look up nearby establishments, I am camped out in an Irish bar, drinking a frigidly cold beer, and lamenting the loss of motivation to do anything at all of value with the rest of my afternoon. I usually find time alone in bars to be pretty productive, but aside from the aforementioned sickness/frustration there is another factor at play- I don’t actually know what I mean I say I am going to “do some writing”.

As riveting as this account of my pointless day in Seattle is, I don’t anticipate a growing audience for topics involving speculation about the strength of my immune system. When I think about writing, I naturally consider novels, but while I have written a few short stories, I don’t think fiction is my strength.

(Side note: I have been at this bar for almost an hour and a half, and my beer is just now heating up to what I would consider a normal serving temperature. I really don’t know how they got it so freakishly cold to being with).

So, I guess the thing I have to decide is– what am I going to write? I’m a fairly disciplined person, and I know I can force myself to sit down and write on days I don’t want to, as long as I have a direction. I’m not much of a planner, but knowing the answer to the above question will hopefully prevent countless hours staring at a blank computer screen (unless I have a tiny sore throat, in which case the day is obviously shot).

Tags: writing

The other day, I spent some time trying to explain to a new co-worker the flow of information between Account Managers, Project Managers and Web Developers as they make their way through a typical interactive project cycle. If project management has taught me one thing, it’s that the fewer words you use to convey your ideas, the better. So I came up with the following as a basic framework for communication:

Based on the above diagram this is probably obvious but, yes, I did go to art school. I even graduated.

Tags: project management

The job interview went well today. Really well, actually. I am concerned because there is now evidence (indicated by the occurrence of a sickly feeling in my belly whenever I think about being offered the position) to support that I might actually like and want this job. This is uncharted territory for me and I’m not sure how I should feel. I’d hate to get my hopes up, especially considering that the job, if offered to me, seems headed for a tough salary discussion.

If I use my typical negotiation strategy, I will painstakingly calculate the absolute minimum amount of money I need to make in order to live. I will leave no room for inevitable home repairs, emergencies or savings accounts. I will convince myself that eating 3 meals a day is for gluttonous sacks. Then, I will take that amount, subtract $5K, and feel guilty that I asked for so much.

They will of course hire me at that annual salary, as it will be well below market value. I will be livid that they undervalued me, even though they merely agreed to the number I set in front of them, and for the entire length of my employment I will tell myself that I will not put myself in this situation again.

Only, I will.

On an unrelated note: what the hell happened to the Chargers yesterday?? I feel like their depressing loss was somehow caused by the fearful energy emanating from the patrons of the sports bar where I watched the game, all of whom were dreading the possibility that San Diego would win and I’d be compelled to belt out the Super Chargers song at the top of my lungs (which, obviously, I totally would have).

Tags: Chargers, job search, salary negotiation strategy

That phone interview I had on Saturday? They emailed me and asked me to come to their office and meet them in person. I’m happy about this, though it does call into question my ability to assess a situation, or more specifically, assess people’s reaction to me. More times than not this is probably a good thing (self-awareness can be so painful), and yet it seems like a skill that could at times come in handy.

I’ll have to spend some time over the weekend getting ready for the interview. Efforts to gather my thoughts so that I may speak coherently shall be avoided at all costs. I tried to do that before the phone interview, and while it turns out they must have seen some potential, the conversation felt icky and uncomfortable and jumbled and bad. Why put myself through that again? Screw preparedness. I’m not applying to be a boy scout.

What I can do, is make some cosmetic improvements. I need a haircut for sure. Though, a series of bad haircuts have left me with little room for trimming, so it’s hard to say how much progress I can make there. I know my wardrobe could use some upgrades. An initial scan of my closet left me wondering what I have against clean, unscuffed shoes. Also, how do my baggy, ill-fitting pants stay up when I have not a single belt? And I should put an ad on craigslist to see if anyone has seen my iron- I think it went missing in 2006.

If they thought I was impressive over the phone, wait ’til they see me in person.

Tags: job search

Not a bad weekend, except for the fact that it was about 4 days shorter than I would have liked. I simply must find a way to improve the workday-to-weekend ratio. I pass a lot of people holding clipboards and begging for signatures on my daily walks through the Pearl, perhaps one of them can take up this cause and get it on the ballot.

I actually made some headway on the new job front- I scored a phone interview on Saturday for a totally new position (not at an agency, and not for a project management role). Yeah! Then, because I am awesome, I botched the interview. They asked me perfectly reasonable questions, including ones I had anticipated and prepped for, and I responded with a rambling, unrelated assortment of words. It should be noted that the primary task of the position I was interviewing for is to clearly and effectively communicate information to a wide range of people.

I think I am beginning to understand why it is that I have never landed a job that I was truly excited about. Apparently, excitement causes my synapses to fire wildly and destructively, decimating logical thoughts and replacing them with meaningless jibberish. Apathy, by contrast, renders me calm, intelligent and eloquent.

Solution: find a job that piques my interest; prior to the interview, use hypnosis or some form of mind control to convince myself that I would despise the job; after the interview, revert my brain to its initial state of excitement and enthusiasm.

Have another suggestion? I’m all ears…